Temptation

In the beginning, I think it’s important to avoid tempting foods.  Clean out your pantry and fridge and replace the junk with healthier options.  Avoid eating out – especially fast food – as much as possible.  It’s my opinion that you need a good couple of weeks’ worth of “clean living” to get your head on straight.

But you can’t avoid temptation forever.  And I don’t think you should – it’s not healthy.

Yesterday, my boys had such an awesome day with the sitter that I wanted to reward them. We They hadn’t had dessert all week, so I decided to make cookies.  I wanted to make oatmeal raisin, but since they don’t all like raisins – and this was a treat for them, after all – I decided on oatmeal chocolate chip.  I ran into the store on my way home an grabbed a bag of semi-sweet chips.

When I got home, I realized I was out of instant oats!  I have no idea how to cook with steel cut oats – aside from making a bowl of deliciousness for breakfast – so I took what was on the back of the pack of chips and what I had in my pantry/fridge and made something up.  They weren’t amazing, but the kids loved them – chocolate peanut butter cookies.  No butter, so I used margarine. Used wheat flour and less than what the box called for.  Less sugar than it called for, too.  Yes, this was a treat for them but a) I try not to load my kids up on sugar and b) I knew I’d want to eat one (or three!), too.

I made them small – each kid actually got three cookies, they were so small. I had a small meal before Zumba and one of the cookies.  When I got home, I had another snack…and another cookie. 

After the kids went to bed, I went to pack up the other cookies. I picked one up, about to shove it in my face and thought, “I don’t really want this.”  Huh.  There’s a cookie – a yummy cookie! with chocolate! – in my hand and I don’t want it?  That’s crazy!

But it’s been getting so much easier to be near temptation without going off the deep end.  I’m getting my “head hunger” more and more under control. Sometimes I look at something and think, “That’s half an hour of Zumba in calories, right there!” But for the most part, if I really want something…I have it.  It’s not like I didn’t eat any cookies.  I had two – each about 2-2.5″ in diameter.  I didn’t deny myself. I don’t tell myself “I can’t eat that!” I just make sure that I spend most of my day making healthy food choices.  I don’t eat junk every meal of every day. I don’t snack on chips and candy like I was doing.

Here’s a typical food day for me lately:

Breakfast: 1 egg + 1 egg white, scrambled with veggies and cheese. Usually on a piece of whole wheat toast.  Glass of water.

Morning Snack: Around 9:30-10am, I have a greek yogurt or apple and LF mozzarella cheese stick. Refill water cup! (I keep a big yellow Dickey’s cup on my desk and fill it at least 3x/day – 32oz cup!)

Lunch: Leftovers from the previous night’s dinner, usually. Lean meat and veggies. If I don’t have leftovers, I make myself a salad or a sandwich. More water!

Afternoon Snack: Fruit cup and cottage cheese or edamame (I buy the frozen kind that has individual packs in steam bags – very easy – always have one in the freezer at work for “emergencies”!) WATER!

Here is the time of day I struggle. Sometimes I’ll eat my snack around 2pm and by 5pm (when I leave work), I’m HUNGRY.  So hungry. If I get too hungry, I make poor choices.  For this reason, I keep a bag of raw almonds in my desk drawer.  A handful of those with a glass of water staves off hunger easily.  I also tend to keep a 100 cal mini-bag of popcorn in my desk, too – for those days when I just have to have something salty.

Dinner: Typically lean meat, green veggies and a starch of some kind.  The other day I made a chicken and green bean noodle dish.  Yummy and easy. And I drink – you guessed it – lots of water.

Dessert: [What?!? you can’t have dessert! You’re DIETING!] No, no I’m not. 🙂  I’m eating better and I’m still getting my dessert, damnit!  Not every day, but most days.  My latest indulgence is a creation from Cadbury/Blue Bunny – 150 calorie chocolate ice cream bars.  OMG.  So delicious.

 And then – now here’s where I really used to struggle – I STOP EATING.I stop eating by roughly 8pm (sometimes dessert is after the kids go to bed – shhh!).  I spend the next three hours (bedtime is typically 11pm) either working out or cleaning or doing something other than shoving food into my face. If I feel hungry, I drink water. Water water water.  and  Walking walking walking.  Those have become my mantras. As of this morning, I’m down 8lbs. I might be posting my pictures sooner than I thought!

19,314

That’s how many steps I took yesterday, according to my pedometer.

I was so excited, I took a picture before passing out…

I played with the kids, I walked a mile on the treadmill, I went to a Zumba class (that was 6k steps right there!), I did some housework and a lil’ Wii Fit before bed. 

19,314 steps. That’s just crazy.

Two weeks ago, I could barely get to the 10k step daily goal.  Now I feel like a slacker if I don’t get there!

I’m finally under 240, too.  Weighed in at 239.6 this morning!  (I feel almost sad that I’m excited about that!)

I’m looking forward to the 18th when I’ll measure and weigh in, etc.  I’m going to wait until I’m down 20lbs before I take another round of pictures.  I think I’ll post my “before” pictures along with my 20lb loss pictures and just go from there – posting a pic every 20lbs.  I thought about monthly pictures, but that might just depress me instead of motivate me.

I just got back from a walk on my lunch break – this heat is for the birds!! Not the most professional look to come back from lunch sweating your ass off!  But I don’t think I can give up my daytime walks altogether – they wake me up and cheer me up, even if I do wind up a mess.  I think the PM break walk will have to wait until cooler days come along, though – it’s only 90 out right now and I barely made it the 1/2 mile loop.  I’ll just stick with the 1/2 mile in the AM and 1/2-1mile (depending) at lunch and make up the rest of it once I’m home and can shower post-walk/Wii/etc.

So, as I mentioned, I went to Zumba yesterday.  Fun times!  I went to a class a few months ago and have wanted to get back into it, but kept making excuses.

NO MORE EXCUSES!

I went yesterday and dragged my guys along.  I was dripping sweat by the end.  Those classes amaze me because I feel like I’m going to die 15 minutes in. Then I tell myself I can make it at least halfway through!  Next thing I know, 40 minutes have passed.  Well it would just be silly to stop now, right? You can’t quit 2/3rds of the way in! 

The first class I took, I intentionally took a spot by the door – just in case I wanted to make a break for it. Yesterday, I went to the opposite side of the room.  If I was going to quit before it was over, it would take a lot of pride swallowing. By 45 minutes in, I was having a blast – my legs were burning and I felt silly as all, but I was having fun.  That’s why I like these classes – they’re FUN.  And it’s not all about doing everything exactly right – it’s about moving your body and having a good time.  Sometimes you need a break from the lunges and walking and weights. 

I went ahead and reserved a spot for today (Mon) and Wednesday at 7:30pm.  The classes are free with my gym membership, but they fill up fast, so if you want to reserve a spot in advance, it costs $1.  Not too bad.

I’m planning to go Sun at noon, and Monday and Wednesdays at 7:30pm each week. If I’m feelin’ froggy, I can add Tues and Thurs at 6:30pm, too.  We’ll see.

I also recently heard about http://bountifulbaskets.org – I’m going to try them out this week!  Check it out and see if they have one in your area. A friend of mine posted the picture of her haul recently and I was amazed!

Curse you, TOM!

It’s that time of the month (TOM) when we women feel bloated and sluggish. It happens to most, if not all, of us.  This time of the month is always my biggest hurdle.  I tell myself I won’t get on the scale for a good week and a half…or I say, “This month, I won’t eat junk food! I can be stronger than that!”  But, inevitably, I eat something I shouldn’t (or several things I shouldn’t) and I get on the scale and curse my hormones, my willpower, etc.

This is the part of the post where I’d love to say, “I’m not doing it this month!” but it’s too late for that already!

I’ve been craving chocolate something fierce.  I haven’t indulged too many times, but the times I have were not good.  I shared a pack of the Hershey Drops – so yummy. And two nights ago, I had an oreo “parfait” from Wendy’s. (That was sickeningly sweet. Somehow, I powered through!! haha) And last night…well… last night my husband and I ordered Dominos. We split an order of stuffed cheesy bread, each had a few slices of a medium pizza (topped with mushrooms, spinach, red peppers and BACON)…and…there were a couple of chocolate lava crunch cakes involved.  Good god. 

And today?  Today, my body HATES me for it.  Not just a little bit.  We’re talking (cover your eyes if you’re squeamish, folks) full on diarrhea madness over here.  Ugh.  I haven’t felt this miserable in months! Add to that the impending period and you have a crampy, tired, miserable Sara. Ugh. 

There’s a silver lining, though.

No, really, there is.

I’ve made much healthier choices for every other meal this week.  Normally PMS time is a strap-on-the-feed-bag-and-let’s-go-athon. Mickey D’s for breakfast, Jimmy John’s for lunch, several pieces of candy from the candy bowl, ice cream after dinner (two helpings of dinner!)… And NO EXERCISE.  That was mebefore. Therefore, me now isn’t doing quite so badly.  I got on the scale this morning (against the aforementioned better judgement) and was only up 1.2lbs.  I’m still drinking at least a gallon of water each day, just the occasional caffeinated beverage (had some diet Coke last night with our Dominos extravaganza). And I still did about 30 minutes of Wii Just Dance last night, in addition to walking on 2 of my 3 breaks.

I’ve definitely done worse.

Something I keep hearing over and over echos in my head – “Be kind to yourself.” 

I once saw a post on facebook that said, “If your friends spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, you wouldn’t hang out with them any more.”  How true is that?

I’m not perfect. I never will be.  I’m not going to just eat carrot sticks for four months and marvel at my weight loss only to gain it all back when I stop.

This isn’t about dieting.

This isn’t a crash course in fitness.

These are LIFE CHANGES. This isn’t something I will be doing for six months, a year, two years – I will never be “done” – because the minute I stop, I will be headed right back in the opposite direction.

This is about making better choices, one meal at a time, one day at a time.

Granted, my body is punishing me plenty, but I choose not to punish myself otherwise.  I know I feel better when I make better choices. That’s my reward.

 

Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up.

Especially during that time of the month (TOM) – because, let’s face it, you’re already moody enough without adding to it, right?  🙂

Coming clean and moving on

I went to see my mom yesterday.  She was doing a lot better than I’d anticipated, so that was a relief.  My sister’s been watching her like a hawk since she got out of surgery, but I really do feel she’ll be fine on her own – my sister leaves Tuesday and my mom lives about an hour away, so quick trips over there aren’t really possible.

Her incisions are so small!  She has four or five little tick marks on her belly.  I told her that her incisions looked even better than Rick’s did after he had the band installed.

After a little chit chat, I said, “Have you walked today?”  And with very little coaxing, she agreed to go for a walk with me.

On that walk, I told her everything I had blogged about in my last entry. We had a good talk about it all.  In that moment, I felt closer to my mom than I have in years. She said she had worried about how I was feeling and she’s proud of me for taking the steps that I’m taking.  I told her I think it’s a shame that people spent the first many years of our lives telling us we were fat when we weren’t…and then telling us as adults that we aren’t fat when we are!  Just…kinda comical.

 

I had a fairly good weekend. We went to a pool party on Saturday, and to prepare myself for the ensuing junk food, I drank a smoothie before we went (1/2 peach, 1c peach yogurt, ice cubes, vanilla protein powder, splash of milk, splash of water). I still had a hot dog and some chips at the party, but I didn’t go crazy.  I tried to stay in the pool most of the time – that helped! 

I’ve been walking at home in addition to walking at work.  Last Wednesday, I popped into the gym to take a Zumba class, but it was full. I thought about staying there to work out, but it seemed so dark and dreary compared the gorgeous day outside, so I went for a 2 mile walk in our neighborhood instead.

I’ve been dancing to the Wii Just Dance about 5 nights/week in addition to walking.  I’m trying to hit my 10k steps/day, but at the very least I want to hit 9k/day.  Yesterday I managed 11.5k!  Best day so far.

I’m soooo close to getting under 240. This morning I weighed in at 240.8lbs.  So a little over 3 lbs in 2 weeks. That’s not too shabby.  I also decided to peek at a couple of measurements now (was going to wait until the month was up) and I’ve lost about 1/2″ in my waist and 3/4″ in my upper thigh so far.  Didn’t check the rest.  Will do that on 6/18.

Kinda sore all over, but I feel great overall.  My shoulder hurts from tossing kids around in the pool on Saturday!  I also joined a little weight loss challenge here in the office that goes from month to month (weigh in the last day of each month).

 

Feeling good!  How about you?

Pedometer Issues and Other Things (quite possibly a TMI post)

I’ve been wearing my pedometer for the Global Corporate Challenge since last Wednesday. (We started our official challenge on Thursday, but I wanted to get a feel for where I was before trying to push myself.)

Today, I’m wearing a dress.  Guess where my pedometer is!

I hooked it to the waistband of my panties. 🙂 I didn’t really see another option. I’m not going to wear a belt!  (A woman with a 50″ waist tends to hate belts – especially when her hips are 50.5″. A belt just accentuates the problem at hand.)

This has worked fairly well, I guess, but I occasionally feel my undies trying to head south – especially when I go on my walks.  Ah well. I’ll deal with it for now.  I don’t have a lot of “pants” options for work – what I find in the stores either doesn’t fit my apple-shaped body or looks like I stole them from my grandma’s closet.  I’ll probably stick to skirts for a while.  It’s too hot outside for pants anyhow! (hahaha…when proofreading my post, I realized I put “It’s too hot outside forpantiesanyhow!)

Not sure my pedometer will ever go this high!

Quick Fact: 10,000 steps = approx 500 calories burned.

 

My weekend was spent with family in a small town of central Texas.  There was a lot of indulging – a lot. I told myself it would just be for one day, but it seeped into the 2nd day before I even noticed!  But I was back on the wagon yesterday.  I even managed to break past my 10k steps/day goal for the first time!  (I thought all the walking I did over the weekend would have gotten me there, but no.)

I pretty much lived on grilled meat (this is Texas, after all), veggies and…cream puffs.  My mom was trying to clean out her junk food in preparation for her bypass surgery (she’s already on liquids) and brought up this bag of cream puffs she bought at Sam’s a few months ago.  Add copius amounts of tequila and Sara found herself sneaking off to the fridge way more often than she should have.  I’m telling myself I had some help, but I’m not so sure I hadmuchhelp. 

Anyhow.

To make up for some of my gorging, I did a lot of Just Dance booty-shaking yesterday.  I challenged the kids in the AM and I danced my hiney off solo after they went to bed.

And today?  I’m sooore!!! (And I’m a whiner!)  But I hurt in all the best places. My obliques and the sides of my back (er…are those still the obliques? Maybe?) are killin’ me.  Yay!  Maybe I’ll get that back fat under control sooner than I thought.

Another advantage? I slept like the dead.  I might have rolled over once last night.  Otherwise, I don’t remember budging one inch.

Downside? My skin is taking a hit.  With all the sweating I’ve done lately, my face is starting to break out. I need to start showering at night, too, I suppose – that will help.

 

Is it nap time yet?

Reflections on Week 1

Tomorrow will be day 7 of “getting back on track,” but since I will be on the road, I won’t get a chance to post. I thought today I’d do a little reflecting on how the first week has gone.

Accomplishments:

• Walked at least 20mins/day every day this week
• Substituted multiple trips to the candy bowl with occasional sugar free treats (SF pudding w/protein after dinner, SF popsicles, etc)
• Played 15-30 minutes of Wii Just Dance 3 nights this week
• Kept my net calories (food – exercise = net) under 2200 each day (really kept it under 1700 most days, but had a little too much fun at HH last night!).

What I’ve noticed:

• I find myself getting full on less. I’m also enjoying my veggies more and more.  I’ve always loved fruit and vegetables, but when you eat processed crap regularly, they start to lose their flavor.  They’re becoming more and more delicious to me now.  Since I’ve cut out the candy, an apple tastes so sweet!
• My mood has improved greatly.  The 20+ minutes of sunshine each day is doing me a world of good.  I may only go walk for 10 minutes at a time, but just getting outside and feeling the wind on my face, sun on my skin… it cheers me up and clears my head.
• Muscle aches – oh, you glorious sore muscles!  I think I’d forgotten some of you even existed.  My legs are sore from walking. My arms and body are sore from all the dancing.  I love it.
• The lighter my breakfast, the lighter my day.  Eggs are still my go-to, but I’m trying to add more veggies and instead of a sandwich I’ve been keeping my morning carbs to one piece of wheat toast or a Flat Out wrap (each 70-100 calories). I’ve noticed my breakfasts going down in calories…and as they do, I seem to eat less the rest of the day as well.
• I feel less bloated.  This is the best part. In less than a week, I’ve lost about 2.5lbs, but more importantly I’m feeling more comfortable in my own body.
• I “accidentally” gave up caffeine. Wednesday afternoon, I got a bit of a headache.  I was stressed over the phone call from my doc that day, but thought it might be something else.  Usually it’s caffeine related.  That’s when I realized it. I hadn’t had caffeine in over 24 hours!  I had been so focused on drinking water, water, water…I’d forgotten about sodas.  I didn’t even want them. And the walking was energizing me more than a diet DrPepper ever did.  I’m not 100% off caffeine – I shared a diet Coke with my husband earlier – but I’m not craving it. I’m not seeking it out.  I’d rather have a glass of water.  That’s…kinda nuts.

Sooo…it’s been a crazy week. I took “before” pictures, renewed my vow to get myself fit and healthy, got denied for Lap Band, went to HH with my friend.  I’ve avoided birthday cake and doubled my fruit/veggie intake. I’ve sweat more in this past week than I have in months. 

I’m excited to see this year – and the rest of my life – through.

No fad diets.  No pushing myself too hard.

I have two goals – I think they’re both fairly realistic.  By the end of the year, I’d like to be under 200lbs. (42lbs/31wks = 1.35lbs/week)  One year from today, I’d like to be 175lbs or lighter. (67lbs/52weeks = 1.29lbs/week)

I’m really looking forward to measuring myself on June 18th to see my progress. 🙂

Walking path by my office. How did I ignore this for 5 months?!

No Lap Band for Sara

My doc’s office called while I was in a meeting.  I called them back and …well… for the sake of me not tearing up again, let’s just say I don’t qualify for lap band through my insurance.

I had myself a good cry.  I hope no one heard.  If they did, I don’t care.  I was down the hall where there are no tenents in the offices, having it out with the nurse.  Blah. Whatever.

I went to the bathroom, dried my eyes…gave my nose a good honk…and then clocked out for my break and went for a walk.  Man, that felt good. Again, even in heels and a skirt, it was a nice little break and it cheered me up.  Just a 10 minute walk around the pond.

I cheated and checked the scale this morning.  240.2. I’m down over 3 lbs this week already.  Granted, I know that’s mostly water weight – I’ve been drinking a lot more water in addition to walking and avoiding processed foods – but it still put a smile on my face.

Screw them. I can do this on my own.

I will do this on my own.

I have a supportive husband and there’s a 16 week walking challenge starting at work tomorrow. I know more about nutrition than just about any other layperson I know.  We have a Wii at home and a gym membership. 

And now?  Now I have the drive, too.

I’ve seen what I look like at 245lbs. I know how it feels. I don’t want to be there ever again. 

I’ve also seen how realistic it is for me to reach my goals.  2lbs/week = goal weight in about 1 year.  Granted, I’m not sure I can maintain this momentum for a solid year, but even if I hit 175 instead of 155, I’d be one happy, happy girl. 

I can do this.

I will do this.

 

So far, so good

It’s amazing how much better I feel after just a few days of making better choices.

Rick and I hit the gym on Sunday morning – 35 minutes on the treadmill at a decent pace (3.5mph – just walking, no running for me yet) and about 20 minutes of weights.  I was hurting within an hour of getting home – man, I’m out of practice!  Rick and I both passed out on the sofa Sunday afternoon for almost an hour. 

Sunday night, I turned on the Wii and decided on a lil’ Just Dance. I went with the “sweat it out” option and picked some high-intensity songs.  Just three songs and I was sweating my hiney off!

Sunday, I also started counting calories.

Monday, I took a nice walk on my lunch break.  Our office is part of a beautiful development with walking paths, bridges, ponds…we even have a little bit of wildlife to check out – herons, turtles, ducks.  I’d glanced out the window before, but never actually walked along the paths.  What a gorgeous area.  I haven’t gotten around to bringing my sneakers to work yet, but I can manage a 10-15 minute walk in my work shoes easily enough. 

I’m using the Lose It app for Android to track calories and exercise.  You can enter your goal weight and then pick a plan (I chose 2lbs loss/wk) and it tells you a) when you should meet your goal and b) how many calories you have to stay within in order to do so.

According to the app, if I stay under 1,672 calories/day, I should be 155lbs by March 25, 2013.  Considering I figured a year with the band would be reasonable, it’s pretty encouraging to see that it might happen sooner than I think as long as I make good choices (along with the band!).  Of course I’m trying to avoid saturated fats and processed foods, in general.

Sunday, I ate 1,932 calories, but I burned approx 375 calories, so that still put my net intake under the mark.

Monday – 1,757 calories in and about 90 burned. Not too bad.

Today – I’ve already plugged in what I plan to have for dinner along with what I’ve eaten all day (I try to put things in there in advance so I can see how much wiggle room is left).  Including dinner, I’m at about 1,430 calories.  I went for a walk this AM and plan to do so again in a few minutes – just little 10 min walks on my breaks. I’m also planning to “sweat it out” again with the Wii Just Dance for at least 30 minutes tonight, so hopefully I’ll have burned a couple hundred calories.  My goal is to eat less than the 1,672 regardless of exercise, but I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’ll get there overnight!

(I dread to plug in what a “normal” day was for me, calorie-wise, just a couple of weeks ago. I’d guess at least 2,500 calories.  At least.)

I feel great.  A little sore, yeah, but otherwise… happier.  And sore muscles have always made me feel just a little less fat. I still look the same, but at least I can feel that there are still muscles in there somewhere! They’re crying for me to use them!

I’m off for a quick walk. 🙂  You should go do the same!