No Lap Band for Sara

My doc’s office called while I was in a meeting.  I called them back and …well… for the sake of me not tearing up again, let’s just say I don’t qualify for lap band through my insurance.

I had myself a good cry.  I hope no one heard.  If they did, I don’t care.  I was down the hall where there are no tenents in the offices, having it out with the nurse.  Blah. Whatever.

I went to the bathroom, dried my eyes…gave my nose a good honk…and then clocked out for my break and went for a walk.  Man, that felt good. Again, even in heels and a skirt, it was a nice little break and it cheered me up.  Just a 10 minute walk around the pond.

I cheated and checked the scale this morning.  240.2. I’m down over 3 lbs this week already.  Granted, I know that’s mostly water weight – I’ve been drinking a lot more water in addition to walking and avoiding processed foods – but it still put a smile on my face.

Screw them. I can do this on my own.

I will do this on my own.

I have a supportive husband and there’s a 16 week walking challenge starting at work tomorrow. I know more about nutrition than just about any other layperson I know.  We have a Wii at home and a gym membership. 

And now?  Now I have the drive, too.

I’ve seen what I look like at 245lbs. I know how it feels. I don’t want to be there ever again. 

I’ve also seen how realistic it is for me to reach my goals.  2lbs/week = goal weight in about 1 year.  Granted, I’m not sure I can maintain this momentum for a solid year, but even if I hit 175 instead of 155, I’d be one happy, happy girl. 

I can do this.

I will do this.

 

Psych Eval

I went for my psych eval today – one of the final steps in meeting my insurance requirements. I wasn’t remotely worried about this evaluation until sometime last night.  I started worrying that he’d think I’m under too much stress or maybe I’d answer something incorrectly, etc.  I told myself these were baseless fears, but still I was a bit worried.

Pretty sure I did just fine. He quizzed me on all things Lap Band, which really surprised me. No one had told me that was what this would be all about. I thought this was just a get-inside-her-head-and-make-sure-she’s-capable-and-not-insane evaluation.  He liked my description of the band and I already have a firm grasp on what to do pre/post-surgery.  He was impressed that I’d already found www.lapbandtalk.com (I’m eyeononederland there, too, if anyone wants to check it out!) and also impressed that I’m blogging as well.  I told him I’d seen both ends of the spectrum when it comes to using the band as a tool. My ex-boyfriend did all the wrong things – shoveled down junk food, vomited several times a day, gained and lost all over the place.  My husband, however, has done an amazing job and the inspiration he’s given me is what made me finally decide to take this step.  He’s worked out, eaten fairly healthy (my cooking skills have helped!) and he hasn’t gotten truly stuck in quite some time.  He listens to his body and he stops when he’s full. He’s lost roughly 180lbs in about 2 years (50 during pre-surgery and 130 with the band). Even better, he’s kept it off for almost a year now.

After the 30 minute consult, I was given the lovely MMPI – Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. He cut it down to a mere 370 questions – all T/F. (Okay, not really “questions” – they’re statements and you have to agree/disagree.)  I’d say at least 100 of these were aimed at paranoid schizophrenics. (“I hear voices that no one else hears.” “I would be more successful if everyone wasn’t out to get me.” “Sometimes I see animals or people who no one else can see.”)  Another 100 were to determine whether I’m party girl or a closet case. Around question 305, I started dozing off.  If it hadn’t been for the nodding off, I’d have been done in no time.  All in all, the consult plus questionnaire took 1.5hrs.

Through it all, I noticed something odd: Whoever wrote this thing really likes the word “oftener.”

Oftener??!

Yes, “oftener.”  I wasn’t even aware that was a word.  I’ve always just said “more often.”

(whoo-wee…”often” is one of those words that starts to make my brain hurt if I stare at it too long. I’ll try not to do that oftener than usual.  Oy – see?!? That doesn’t even feel right!  OFTENER)

Anyhow.

—

I’ve decided on a tracking method for my journey. I plan to weigh myself once/week and measure myself once/month.  You can check those results here on my Stats page.

Today’s starting stats were a doozy.  I can’t imagine having hips.  I find it hard to believe I could one day have a waistline less than 4 feet in circumference.

But I will get there.

Here a doctor, there a doctor…

I was off yesterday due to my youngest son’s school closing for a “bad weather day” (since we didn’t have any bad weather this year, they’re afraid the kiddos might learn too much! haha…kidding…kidding)

Rick watched our little guy in the AM and I started my day with a trip to the local hospital. I scheduled my pre-op nutrition consult for yesterday morning.  (I also went into this visit hungry as all because I was fasting to go to my GP after that for a physical.)

I’ve been to dietitians/nutritionists before over the years, but it has been a while. I’ve studied nutrition quite a bit as a hobby.  I know what to do, I just…don’t always do it. I’ve also spent the last couple of years with Rick – he had Lap Band in July 2010 – and I’ve read what to do/not to do along with him as well as seen what’s worked for him, what didn’t work for him, my ex-boyfriend that had Lap Band, etc. Still, I was interested to hear what this doctor had to say.

When the dietician showed up, she was extremely perky.  I mean, on a scale of goth to cheerleader, she was head cheerleader. I tried not to be instantly put off.

In her office were all kinds of lovely fake foods and empty canisters.

That plate in the picture is a special “bariatric portions” plate – I wish I’d managed to get a better shot, but I quickly took this pic while she was getting us some water. (I’m so sneaky!) It showed approximately half the plate as “protein”, maybe 1/3 as “vegetables” and the remainder (don’t make me do math!) as carbs.  She said always start with the protein – if you’re full after that, stop eating.  If you have room, eat the rest.  I’ll need to take a multivitamin and calcium supplement daily – she offered samples of various flavors and suggested I figure out what I like before surgery because I don’t want to find out after surgery that something doesn’t agree with me. (So far, I’m in love with the Calcet Bites – yum!) I will need to make sure I get 55-65g of protein per day.

She said the average woman’s stomach can hold approximately 4 cups of chewed food. After surgery, mine will hold 1/4 cup.  Take a hearty meal and divide that by 16. Now don’t get too full thinking about all that food!

Another suggestion was what she called the “applesauce test”. She said, “Chew your food until it is the consistency of applesauce. If it isn’t, don’t swallow.”  I loved the way she worded things. Despite my first impression of her bump-it and cheerful voice, she was very down to earth and wanted me to be realistic. 

As I took in everything she had to say, I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, I was not ready for this a year ago. Not at all.”  I’m ready now. A year ago, this conversation would have sent me running.  Now I view it as preparation.

Once I left the hospital, I headed to my GP for my yearly physical.

My GP was once my grandma’s doctor. I’ve known him my whole life. I started going to him not long after my grandma passed – I had some swelling in my legs and had no idea what to do. He ran me through every possible test and my crazy body passed with flying colors. To this day, the only conclusion I’ve been able to make is that my body does not like salt or processed food (these tend to go hand in hand). If I eat out too often, I blow up like the Michelin man. It’s maddening.

My doctor’s suggestions were to lose weight and take a diuretic as needed.  Thankfully I don’t need to very often as I hate the side effects.

His exam rooms are full of character. He’s collected medical cartoons over the years. I swear I’ve read every one of them. I always check for new ones.

He also has an impressive collection of antique medicine bottles, machines, etc. (This is just a small sample from the room I was in.)

Dr. S is very blunt. In a world full of coddling, I consider it a breath of fresh air most of the time.  At the end of the day, I know he cares about me as a person.  He has given me a hard time about my weight for years.  (He does the same to my mom. One time she said, “I’ve lost a pound!” and he replied, “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find it again soon enough.”) He’s tried to help me, as well. He even prescribed me phentermine for a year when I requested.  Unfortunately, that didn’t get me far.

When I saw him yesterday, he told me I’d gained 16lbs since December. (I went off the phentermine in November.)  I told him I’m planning to get lap band.  He said, “Okay then.”  I handed him my request for records to be transferred over.  I told him I just basically needed 5 years’ worth of weight history – proof that I’ve been obese for at least that long.

He tapped away at his tablet (I’m very impressed that he’s embraced technology – I keep thinking he’ll retire one day!) then stepped out of the room for a second. He came back and handed me this:

That’s my weight history over the past 5 years. Apparently I didn’t go to the doctor at all in 2008! He gave me this copy for my own personal information.

We continued with the physical exam. When he felt my stomach, he dryly said, “Yep, we need to get rid of all this.” As I sat up he gave me a half-smile and said, “I’m excited for you.”

I hadn’t asked him what his opinion was because I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.  But that little comment made me happy. I’m excited for me, too.

 

Last night, I received my lab results…and now I’m even happier.

My triglyceride level is 229.  “Normal” is 190.  Mine has been over 400 since I was about 10 years old.

229. 

I did a double-take in disbelief. I may still be fat, but at least I’m moving in the right direction as far as my health goes. 

Next step? Weight Loss check in #3 on 5/15 and Psych Eval on 5/18.

Time flies when you’re fulfilling insurance requirements!