Courage & Starting Over

 

A lot has happened in the past 9 months.

I slacked off.  I let the holidays get the better of me (though I did cook a pretty healthy Thanksgiving dinner).  I hit the gym maybe 5 times. I gained some weight. My hip developed a pinched nerve. My ankles were swelling more and more.

In March, I started having issues swallowing.  I’d been having issues for a while, honestly, but they progressed in March to the point where I finally decided to DO something about it.  I went to see my gastro – I’d had digestive issues years ago – and he reminded me I was also late for my follow-up colonoscopy.

And then, while trying to sort out my swallowing issues, I was diagnosed with colon cancer.

Shortly after, I was told my swallowing issues were called achalasia.

So… surgery on the colon (pathology report came back sparkly!) and then a procedure on my throat for the achalasia.  I took 6 weeks off from work for surgery and recovery.

9 weeks post op, I’m feeling great.  Not only that, I feel like myself again. I was close to it a week or so ago, but something was missing.  I found my missing piece again – exercise.

I’m taking it easy and building back up, but it just feels so good to be moving again.  I haven’t been back to the gym, but I’ve been squeezing in some movement in the mornings before work.  The kids are out of school, so I have a lot more time in the AM than I used to.  I blew the dust off an old pilates video one morning, indulged in some Wii Just Dance with my boys on other mornings.  I pulled on my sneakers and went for a walk this past Sunday.  I’ve been walking at lunch with a co-worker, as well.

Nothing hard. Nothing overwhelming. Baby steps. I’ll get back there.

I stopped fearing the scale.  I started keeping a food journal (via www.myfitnesspal.com ) again.

I’ve stopped kidding myself. Stopped lying to myself. “I’ll start tomorrow,” I’d say.  “I haven’t gained that much weight,” I’d think.

I was almost afraid to even tell myself that I was really doing this.  I went for that walk on Sunday and felt defeated afterwards – I was so tired, I took a two hour nap that afternoon!! My body just doesn’t respond to activity the way it did pre-op just yet.  And I don’t expect it to, which is why I’m trying to take things slowly.  20 minutes here, 30 minutes there.  It all adds up.

 

I saw the phrase above on a sign earlier this week and the words hit home.

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

My mom recently told me that she’s always been afraid to lose weight because of the fear that she’d just gain it back. I think I’ve had similar fears lurking in the back of my mind.  Why bother? I’ve never succeeded before. And if I do succeed, I’ll just gain it all back again!   

STOP!  (Easier said than done, I know – negative self-talk is very difficult to rein in once it starts.)

My response to my mom that day was that someone who’s spent even a week, a month, a year healthier than they were before is likely a lot better off than the person who’s never tried at all.

Did you know that a 30 minute workout is only 2% of your day?  Shoot, even if you deduct 8 hours of sleep (who gets that??), it’s only 3% of your day!  I read that somewhere recently (and then double-checked the math) and when you think of it that way…it’s really difficult to say that you “don’t have time”.  (I’ve been saying it for months and I’ve been lying to myself!!!!)

 

So here’s to new beginnings.  Here’s to starting over again (and again and again).

Here’s to having the courage to try again tomorrow if today wasn’t your best day.

I can’t promise I’ll be able to post often, but I will try to post more.  I’ve missed you guys and the encouragement we give each other.

Stats Update

As promised… here we go:

Weight: 238.6lbs (+2lbs)

Waist: 49.0″ (-0.5″)

Chest: 44.0″ (no change)

Hips: 49.0″ (-1.0″ ???)

Right thigh: 23.5″ (no change)

——

So… Interesting. 

Up 2 pounds, but some good changes elsewhere.  I’m attributing that to continuing to move more, even if it hasn’t been scheduled exercise. I still park at the other end of the lot at work and walk in.  I’m still more active in the AM than I used to be at home. The “hip” measurement cracked me up.  A good portion of my “hips” when I measure is actually overhang belly fat.  So… perhaps this means the gut is shrinking a bit?  (If I was to measure under the belly, ya’ll would think I was a skinny mini, if you saw no other measurements.  I have no backside, no hips.)

I think I’ll hit the gym tonight, if my husband is up for it.  He’s off work tonight, so he’s going to spend part of his day trying to repair our fence.  He may be exhausted.  At the very least, we’ll hit the pool. If we do that… I’ll walk there. 🙂

A visit from Mom (and how a kick in the ass can be disguised as good intentions)

As you may or may not remember from earlier posts, my mom had gastric bypass at the end of May.  Including pre-surgery diet, she’s lost about 30 pounds so far.

Before surgery, she was roughly 230 – give or take a few pounds.  She and I are shaped incredibly different.  I am broad-shouldered, narrow-hipped – “apple” shaped.  She is narrow shouldered, big through the hips/ass – the classic “pear”.  Because of this, we have often been the same size, but still not quite able to share clothes.

Well, now she’s roughly 30lbs lighter than I am and she’s melting out of her clothes.  She told me she wanted me to have first pick of what she was getting rid of before she offered to her friends.  I kinda laughed it off and said okay. I figured she’d come over with four or five items I had zero desire to wear and that would be it.

Today, she took our kids to the children’s museum.  She was just leaving as I got home from work.  I was glad I caught her – as much as she drives me crazy at times, I love my mom and I hadn’t seen her in a while.  She mentioned she’d brought those clothes by and said if I wanted to, she’d hang out while I tried them on and then she could take whatever I didn’t want with her.

She didn’t bring a few items.  She brought a Rubbermaid container FULL of clothes.  She also had several hanging items.

I wound up taking a few tops that would be good for work, two pairs of “swooshy” pants (the elastic-waisted polyester kind I don’t usually wear, but they looked okay and I need some pants) and a dress that makes me look quite matronly!  (It’s a gorgeous blue dress she wore to my brother’s wedding a couple of years ago.  It makes me look like I’m in my 40s, though.)

The thing is, there were other items I refused – not because they didn’t fit, etc…but because they were size 20W and winter clothes.

I do not want to be a size 20W come winter.  No no no. NO.

I will NOT see another birthday come and go at this weight. I won’t do it.

Seeing her 30lbs lighter and seeing this huge container of clothes put a fire under my butt.  Yes, I had to take some time for my back (and I don’t want to overdo anything and wind up like that again – yeouch!)…and yes, I’ve had some other issues, but it’s time to get back on that horse.

Today should have been my 2 month check in on my stats page.  I noticed it coming up this past weekend.  I’ve had some serious bloating issues lately (just got my Dyazide refilled yesterday, thank god), so I’ve been avoiding the scale.

Tomorrow, though, I will measure and check in. One day late – not so bad.  I’m willing to accept that the scale might have even gone up a little bit (ugh), but I can’t just avoid the truth.  How can I better myself if I continue to turn a blind eye when I slip up?

We need to accept that there are peaks to go with our valleys.  Yes, we all want our final destination to be the very bottom of that hill… but the road down there is bumpy at times.

I’m frustrated because I hit a bump fairly early on. But this isn’t a sprint – it’s a hike. A heck of a long hike, I might add. (I love this post by fellow blogger Paul Flint at Weight Loss Hacked. Check it out – it’s a great post that uses hiking as a metaphor for the weight loss journey.)

I’m going to share a pipe dream with you all now.

I’ve been fantasizing lately about getting fit enough that I could become a trainer/fitness instructor.  I’m 32.  If I think that’s a realistic goal, I’d better get on it asap, right?

I love the idea of helping others get where they want to be – educating them on fitness and nutrition.  I think that’s becoming my long term goal.  Maybe when I’m in better shape and the kids are a bit older, I could go back to school and be a trainer on the side. Who knows.

First step: Get back to working out 5-7 times/week.  Just 20-30 minutes most days, but I have slacked and I need to get back.  I did 20 minutes of Wii Just Dance tonight and I got a stitch in my side!! Sad!  More veggies. More water (I’ve slipped here, too).  More movement.

I will get there.

 

Eye on…what?

Oh, hey. It’s me again.  Anyone still around??

I haven’t posted in almost two weeks.  That’s bad.  I think it’s been akin to not wanting to get on the scale at the doctor’s office because I don’t want to get berated for not doing what I should. 

On Monday, July 9th, I threw out my back.  I’d had a nice, vigorous workout the day before at the gym, and then somehow I threw out my back by drying off after my shower.  Yeah.  I didn’t believe it at first, either.  I tried to fight it.  After about 2 minutes, I just had to lie on the bed and wait for my husband.  Oh my gosh, I was in so much pain. 

Halfway through the day, I thought I’d suck it up and get up – the naproxen I’d taken was helping and I thought, “oh, I’m being a wimp. Gotta get my wimp ass out of bed and go help the sitter with the boys.”

I literally couldn’t carry their food from the freezer in the garage back into the house.  I had to call uncle and hand the pizza to the sitter.  I tried to sit on the couch for a bit, but that was too painful, so I went back to bed.

I spent most of Mon in bed.  Then I went to work for 1/2 a day on Tues…came home around 1pm and slept through most of Wed.  Literally.  From Tuesday afternoon until Wednesday night, I’d slept roughly 18 hours. 

By Thursday, I was feeling MUCH better, but still taking it easy.  Thursday night, I played around on the Wii a little bit.  My step counts were horrible for the week and I was trying to do anything to not completely backslide again.

Saturday, we went to the pool and played around at home.  I got in 10,314 steps that day, so I felt pretty dang good. (I also killed one of my pedometers by walking right into the dang pool with it on! Thankfully they gave us two!)

Yesterday, we went to a local fair of sorts – a “Taste of” deal where restaurants and food vendors sell you samples and give out freebies.  We came home with about a dozen small bottles of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce (yum!) and drank more Yakult and McDonald’s smoothie samples than anyone ever should (but it was HOT and those were FREE!!). I also raked in a total of 13,608 steps yesterday.  Finally.

My scale numbers, however, have me completely confused. I know I’m having issues with bloating off and on and that’s not helping.  One day the scale says I’m back up to 241lbs, the next it says I’m back down around 237.

The bottom line?  I’m sick of bouncing around in the same area – a set of numbers not that far below my original weight of 245lbs.

I need to get it together.  I need to get back to counting calories, hitting the gym more, etc.  Yes, I need to be careful with my back, but I don’t want to stall out.

 

My husband and I are going on vacation next week. I’m crazy excited!  A whole week WITHOUT ANY CHILDREN. 🙂  Yes, I love my kids, but we both need a break.  Our oldest is headed to camp and the younger two are each going to a grandma’s for the week. 

Last time Rick and I went on vacation together was our honeymoon last year.  We went to Jamaica – all-inclusive, Sandals resort.  We ate and drank and slept and lounged and ate some more.  I left for that trip at my lowest weight in years – 214lbs.  We came back and just got lax and lazy.  We didn’t go to the gym as often, we had gotten accustomed to eating whatever and drinking more than we normally did.  I gained over 30lbs in the past year.  Not good.

In an attempt to not let this vacation turn into a repeat of last year (because, honestly, I can’t afford that, physically!!), I’ve tried to plan some ACTIVE “activities”.

We’re hitting a concert Sunday night locally.  Monday, I have to work – dangit.  I used more days this year than I’d planned and still have a couple I need to use in the future, so I’m just taking off 4 days from work.

Tuesday morning, we have some appointments in town…then we’re headed to San Antonio.  Our hotel is walking distance to just about everything – we will do lots of walking!  Wednesday, we’ll wake up, have breakfast and head up to New Braunfels to go tubing.  Not exactly strenuous, but there’s a decent walk back to return the tube.  Our Keens will come in handy for the water/hike combo!

Wednesday night, we’re meeting up with an old friend of mine from childhood. I can’t wait!  Yes, I’d rather not look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy when I arrive, but it doesn’t matter. I haven’t seen him in about 16 years. We recently reconnected and I’m just looking forward to having a few drinks and a few laughs.

Thursday morning, we’re going on a 2 hour bike tour!  I love my husband for agreeing to these crazy things.  I’ve been keeping an eye on Groupon and Living Social for the past month or so, looking for deals we can use on our trip. I found the tubing deal and this bike tour deal.  2 hours on “beach cruisers”, so it won’t be killer, but it will be a great way to see Austin.

And hopefully we’ll burn enough calories that I won’t feel guilty with the drinking we will likely do Thurs night.

Friday, more hiking/tubing with my brother and his wife – they’re taking off for the day and I can’t wait to spend the day with them!  They’re both very active and I usually worry about keeping up, but I think Rick and I are both doing better than we have in a while.

Unfortunately, we’ll have to drive back on Friday night because our oldest has to be picked up from camp bright and early on Saturday!  Back to reality… *sigh*

I’m excited about our little trip – I feel like I’ve injected enough physical fun to keep it from being a complete lounge/drink/eat vacation. 

 

Once again, I’m rambling. 

I want to get motivated again.  I think I’m feeling stuck in a rut and hopefully a vacation will invigorate me.

Also?  Why the heck is it so hard to find a bathing suit in JULY!??!  I was so bummed when I found the perfect one-piece bathing suit at Torrid only to find out they were completely out of my size both in store and online.  The back up options I’d chosen were also sold out.  So were the suits I liked at Lane Bryant!  grrrr.

I was really hoping for a cute one piece.  Looks like I’ll be rockin’ the tankini down the river and praying to God I don’t fall out of my tube and lose my draws!  🙂

Backsliding

I’m frustrated with myself.  Yes, I need to practice what I preach and be kind to myself, but some days it’s difficult.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I started out with a healthy breakfast, but after that the healthy eating took a horrible left turn down Junk Food Street and got lost on the wrong side of the Good Eating tracks. Pretty much stayed there until dinner. (Although I don’t think I’d call homemade pizza “healthy”, it’s better than what I’d been doing the rest of the day. Plus, there was spinach involved.)

I spent the day chained to my desk in a way I haven’t been for months. We were short handed and it was just an overwhelmingly busy day.  I can’t make any excuse for my lunch choice other than blaming stress, but even that’s a pretty pathetic excuse when I had a full hour.

I walked roughly 4,000 steps yesterday. I’ve usually done that many by 1pm.  I felt awful. I only drank about 1/2 a gallon of water yesterday, too. (I usually knock out a gallon/day.)  PMDD was kicking my ass in the worst way.  Cramps, bloating, depression, cravings.  I gave into all of it.  I made it through the day without any emotional outbursts, but once I got home…I crashed and burned.  I knew I would if I didn’t get some exercise.  I wanted to take the kids to the gym, but after an unsavory report from the babysitter, I decided against it.  Plus, dinner had to be made and I didn’t sleep well the night before. Excuses excuses excuses.

I fell asleep before 8pm. (Thank God for my wonderful husband – he got up and took care of the kiddos so I could wallow and pass out.)  I woke up at around 10:45pm completely confused.  I barely remembered Rick getting up for work. I didn’t make his lunch or anything.  I was sleeping in the shirt I’d worn to work, bra and panties.  My chest was sweating when I woke up and I thought it was nearly morning.  I got up and realized what was going on… changed into something more comfortable… let the dogs out.  I had a snack (small bowl of Special K w/ Berries) – I didn’t need it, per se, but I wanted it.  I sat up until almost midnight, then went back to bed.  I slept until 5:30am.

Doing better today.  It’s a new day.  I can’t let every setback knock me down.

What I do need to realize is that I will likely have a day of binge eating each month due to my hormonal ridiculousness.  Because of that, I need to make less bad choices at other times.  I ate more queso over the past weekend than I care to admit!  And we had strawberry lemonades with vodka on Friday night.  Popcorn… etc, etc.  If I know I’m going to turn into an emotional eating disaster once a month, I need to prepare for it better throughout the month by not having as many “bad” days when I’m emotionally stable.

I’m also staying away from the scale. It’s not going to help me to see my bloated self reflected in numbers on a scale. I’ll wait until Friday to weigh again. 

Today… I’m hitting the gym after work with the kids. (They’d better be well-behaved today!  If they act like total monsters, I may just make them watch me play the Wii all evening!!!) And I wore my sneakers to work (casual week – yay!), so maybe I’ll be more inclined to go for a walk in this god-forsaken heat.  I’ve planned for more fruits and veggies today.  I’m down 1/2 a gallon of water already. I’ll repair the damage done yesterday.

I will forgive myself for backsliding.

I won’t let one meal, one day, one week define me.

Slurpee

Okay, I may be a little behind the times because I’ve been avoiding 7-11 since mid-May (I was addicted to their nasty breakfast sandwiches and Monsters!), but I happened to pop into one today (because where else can you get $5 cash back on a purchase?) and I discovered something awesome.

That right thurr is a SUGAR FREE MANGO SLURPEE, people. I mean, I know it’s not calorie free (20 cals per 8oz), but it’s insanely better than the alternative.  And sometimes – like, oh, I don’t know, when it’s106 degrees outside – you need a cold, frosty treat.  Something you can grab on the go, easy-peasy-like.  (I think this heat is killing off my brain cells…)

And popping into 7-11 for the occasional sugar free slurpee is insanely better than what I was doing – going in 2-4 times/week for a breakfast sandwich and a monster!

Funny thing is, when I ran into 7-11 today, I had every intention of grabbing some caffeinated treat – a jolt for my system!  I went to bed late last night (for no good reason) and we have date night tonight, so I was trying to convince myself I would need it.  But I know full well I’m going to have a diet DrPepper at the movie later, so why add more caffeine now?  I don’t actually need it.  I might be a little stressed out at work today, dragging a bit, etc.  But the morning walk I went on jazzed me up more than a Monster ever has (and I didn’t get the shakes from it after, either).

I was a tad bummed yesterday because we had our work weight loss challenge…and I came in SECOND.  Yeah, I know.  How stupid am I for beating myself up about second place?? According to the girl’s scale that runs this thing, I lost 3.14% of my body weight in a month.  I missed 1st place by .14%.  Grr.  So close!

That’s what I needed the $5 for, by the way – entering another month’s worth of the challenge.  I hate that we’re weighing in on 7/26 next month because I’ll be on vacation. I was kinda hoping that would be my out (rather than saying, “I’m kinda broke and would rather spend that $5 on something else…”).  But instead, J (the girl leading it) said, “Oh, just weigh in that Monday since you’ll be here – that’s fine!”  Dangit. LOL

But, in all honesty, I could use the competitive motivation.  She lost 3.28%, so now my goal is 3.5% so I can (hopefully) nail it next month. That’s just 1lb more than I lost the month prior.  I can do that. Right?  Right. 

 

Of course, I’m feeling poo-tastic right now because I feel the cramps and crankiness coming on… it’s almost that time of the month.  This is always the worst for me.  But I made it through last month! I can do it again. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN… yep yep.  A treat here and there, but I’m not going to dive face first into a carton of Ben & Jerry’s.  Gotta stay strong!

Also? These milk ads are hilarious. Why have I not seen these before today??

 

Omg…now I know why… because people are crazy and can’t take a joke!! hahahaha http://vegansaurus.com/post/7577302507/guest-post-milk-board-hates-women Wow. Just wow.

I hate women when they’re acting like bitches, too, people.  Granted, I understand the drama behind the milk industry and vegans/PETA, etc… I do.  But I still think the ads are funny.  Poor guys!

Potty Emergency! (this post is not as gross as the title implies)

For most of my adult life, I’ve had what my doc likes to call “Idiopathic Peripheral Edema” – his way of saying, “I have no idea why your ankles swell up like that.”

He prescribed a diuretic a while back.  I rarely took it – I hate how it makes me feel.  A couple of years ago, he changed me over to Dyazide. It’s technically a blood pressure med, but it does the trick and is supposed to be easier on the system than the other pill he had me on (cannot remember the name to save my life).

I’m not a huge fan of taking this, either.  To give you an idea of how much I enjoy taking them… I just realized I’m almost out and thought I should call in a refill, just in case. Oh, look there… 12 refills available… until May of 2012.

So, basically, I’ve taken less than 30 pills in a year.

I’m not sure if it’s the exercising aggravating my joints or the gallon of water I’m drinking each day… but my ankles are giving me issues again.  Yesterday was an especially bad day – I had cankles by the time I got home. I gave in and took a pill.

Within a few hours, I was feeling so much better.

This morning, I was a little puffy again. I took another pill. My legs look awesome right now, I must say.  Unfortunately, I’ve been running to the bathroom every 45 minutes or so! 

Whenever I tell my doc that I don’t like taking the pill, he goes, “Just take the pill, Sara.  Do it.”  Yes, boss!

I need to try to eat more natural diuretics. I’ve been eating more fruits and vegetables…I need to stick to that.  Less bread, cheese, etc.  I love my eggs, chicken and tuna, but I need to get back to avoiding the packaged stuff as much as possible. It’s amazing to me how much salt is in packaged food. 

 

I gave the pedometer a rest yesterday and felt naked without it.  And even though I said I was going to “rest” yesterday, the swollen ankles and all that made me feel fat and so I did about 30 minutes of Wii Just Dance 3 (borrowed from our sitter) last night.  Fun fun fun.  I needed that!

Contemplating Zumba tonight… we’ll see.  Too hot to do much else with the kiddos, so I might go to the gym regardless of whether or not I catch a Zumba class!

Personal Best & Yummy Food

The GCC challenge for this past weekend was to beat your previous Personal Best step count in one day.  My previous PB was 19,314 (or something like that).  And guess what?  I SMOKED it!

Tada!

It wasn’t easy!  I thought I had a plan in place that would knock it out by dinner, but boy was I wrong!  I played some Wii Just Dance with my kiddo in the AM, I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes, I took an hour long Zumba class, I walked to/from the pool after lunch, I even walked in place at the laundromat (long story – washer temporarily broken!) and played some more Just Dance that night.  By the time the boys were in bed, I was exhausted.  And I’d hit 18k steps. 

Rick told me to come lay down with him so I could rest for a bit. I said no.  I told him if I laid down, I’d fall asleep…and I’d be SO MAD at myself if I got THIS CLOSE only to pass out!!  No no… a rest on the couch while he rubbed my feet (because he’s the best husband ever!) was enough. I didn’t want to lose what little steam I had left.

He went to work and I went to do my usual Wii Fit/Just Dance stuff. I wasn’t feeling it.  Never mind the fact that the stupid Wii Fit said I was up 1.2lbs and wanted to know why (screw you, Wii Fit!! I’m full of water and I’m dog tired!!), my feet were sore,  my legs were tired… I just wanted to get it over with!

So, instead, I watched some mindless TV and walked/jogged in place.

Before I knew it, I was at 20,025 steps!  I sat down for a bit to rest.

And then something got into me… I wanted to hit 21k. I didn’t need to, I just wanted to.  No one was pushing me – I was just pushing myself.  I got up and did some high steps for the rest of the show – decided to just stop when the show was over.  10pm came and – voila! – 21,032. I went to bed feeling pretty damn proud of myself.

Funny thing is, no one else on my team set a new PB.  In fact, of my friends at work that I’ve spoken to, none of them have, either.  Everyone’s had some excuse or stopped short or whatever.  This makes me even more proud of myself and my determination. And I’m thankful that my husband supported me in this mini-challenge rather than talking me into quitting!

 

Meanwhile, I’ve had a pretty good food weekend.  We had date night Saturday night, so there were some less-than-stellar food choices made, but I still ate my veggies and tried to be “good”!

Yesterday was a food-tastic day.  Saturday AM I volunteered at Bountiful Baskets (juggling produce can be quite a work out!) and when I was done, I came home with my crazy-good haul.  Tomatoes, celery, onions, cherries, mangos, nectarines, lettuce, cantaloupe, blueberries, potatoes!  So much goodness!  And this time around, I ordered their Organic 9-grain bread.  OMG, so delicious. And only 65 calories/slice – not too shabby.

I also bought some raspberries and kiwi at the store on Friday… plus we still had some plums & apricots leftover from last week’s basket.  Our fridge is full of whole-food goodness.  It may sound dumb, but it makes me so happy!  And I love it when my kids beg for fruit for dessert – that puts a big smile on my face.  I want SO badly for our children to grow up making better food choices than I was making in my younger days. 

Rick and I had some berri-licious smoothies before the gym yesterday.  After the gym, I had a sandwich (roasted chicken, spinach, cheddar and bbq sauce grilled on 9-grain bread) and fruit.  Then a yogurt (I was starving!).  Had some fruit for a snack later in the afternoon. 

For dinner, I made hamburgers.  I threw about 1/3 of an onion, 3 mushrooms and a few basil leaves into my mini food processor (gotta hide the veggies from the kids sometimes! haha) and then mixed them into some 93/7 ground beef.  Added some Mrs. Dash, breadcrumbs and an egg… mix mix mix… then I let that all rest for a bit while I tried my hand at a fruit tart.

I didn’t use a recipe and I can’t even really recall exactly what I did, but it didn’t hold together all that well, so I’ll just post my picture and tell you it was delicious!  Messy, but so good!  I made it with blueberries, raspberries and strawberries.  Oatmeal/brown sugar topping. Nom nom nom.

Back to dinner!  After the tart/pie thing was done cooking and sitting out to cool, I put the oven on broil and turned my bowl o’ meat into 6 patties (4 for me and the kids, 1 for Rick to have at work overnight and 1 for me to have lunch today!).  These were less than 1/4lb, but I smashed ’em out thin and they were delicious.

My kids make fun of me when I’m taking pictures of my food…

Once again, the bread from BB made an appearance.  Topped with cheese, tomato, spinach, mustard and ketchup… this burger was probably one of the best I’ve had in a while.  Can’t wait for lunch!

This morning’s breakfast was also a winner.  Scrambled eggs with spinach, tomatoes and swiss. 

I’m having fun with food. I’m enjoying the good stuff so much more. Today, I packed myself another burger and nectarine for lunch, cucumber salad and a string cheese for one snack, yogurt and almonds for the other snack.  Just looking at those foods makes me happy.  I don’t care how silly that sounds! 🙂

 

This morning, I got on the scale and proceeded to try really hard to NOT mentally beat myself up. I’ve been doing SO well, I don’t care if the number on the scale doesn’t always reflect it. 

To prove to myself that I’m making progress, I bust out the measuring tape.  There’s already a difference just since last week.  I’m not recording my measurements more than once/month, but it was such a boost to see that I am slimming down, even if the numbers on the scale don’t always say so.

I want to go for my physical later this year and have the doc go, “Wow, that Lap Band has really helped” and then just smile and tell him I did it on my own.

Zumba Zumba!

The Zumba classes at my gym fill up pretty quickly.  Usually, if I’m hoping to join in on a class, I’ll either reserve my spot in advance ($1/reservation) or I’ll show up early.

Yesterday, I didn’t do either.

We’d had some drama with the kids and I was contemplating not going whatsoever.  But I know I need to stop making excuses. I explained to our boys how important it was (for the millionth time) to behave at the Kids Club or they’d get da BOOT. (No, but, seriously – they’ll kick you out of the gym for the day if your kid gets out of control – it’s happened to us before. If it happens twice in a 6 week period – I think that was the timeframe – you’re suspended from the Kids Club for something like a month. Don’t want that to happen!!)

We walked in around 5:18pm and I half-jokingly asked if there were any spots still open for the 5:30pm Zumba class.

There were!

I hadn’t planned for that!  I had thoroughly expected to be stuck with a treadmill/elliptical/weights sorta routine and didn’t bring a bottle of water with me (because I could hit the fountain if in the main gym).  NO MORE EXCUSES – I drank as much water as I could stand and headed to class.

The woman that’s been teaching the class for a while left for the summer to spend time with family in Brazil.  I wasn’t sure who was teaching and didn’t really care – a new instructor might mean I’d look less lost than usual!

In walked Jason.  Ex-football pro (so he says! didn’t get a last name to check!), fit, lean.  He was ready to GO! 

Class was a blast.  A little less booty-shaking than usual, but a lot more toning (read: sooo many squats & lunges!). I didn’t sweat as much as I usually do (though I still sweat an awful lot!), so I didn’t miss my bottle of water as much as I was worried I would.  I am IN PAIN today, though!! A good pain!  That delicious sore muscle pain that tells you that you really worked it the day before.  My thighs are killin’ me!

I made quite a few bad food choices yesterday, but I’m not going to dwell on that. 

I discovered something delicious today!  Evol Burritos.  Have you ever seen these? Ever tried them? 

Photo credit: http://evolfoods.com

I’d seen them before, but avoided them because I considered them too pricy. ($3.80/burrito at Kroger)  Today, this one – the Cilantro Lime Chicken burrito – caught my eye.  I should never go shopping while hungry!

I read the package and decided I wanted to give it a whirl. No hormones, no preservatives, no fake JUNK in this food.  The burritos are a little high in carbs (due to, duhh, the tortilla), but one of these bad boys packs 16g of protein and 4g of fiber.  320 calories.  Not too bad for a burrito.  And I love that I can read the ingredients list and not once find myself saying, “What on earth IS that?” 

—

Yesterday I went to my stepdad’s mom’s funeral.  She died at 102 years old.  ONE HUNDRED AND TWO. That’s crazy.  She was born in 1910.  Just imagine all the changes she’s seen over the years.  Something they pointed out at the funeral yesterday was that in 1920, the average life expectancy for a woman was 51.  She doubled that.

My mom and stepdad married just 4 years ago, so I didn’t get much of a chance to know Grandma L.  She was 98 when I met her.  I got a feel for her personality and stubbornness, but I didn’t really learn her history.

Yesterday, the pastor shared some key notes from her life.  At the age of 96, her car was finally taken from her.  As old as 92, she was still known to disappear for weeks at a time to go on solo camping trips!  She would stay in state parks alone – she loved camping, loved nature, LOVED the water.  My stepdad (her son) runs circles around me at the age of 71, I can only guess she would have done the same.

I want to be that energetic when I’m older.  If I were to start where I am now – never getting stronger, leaner, healthier – and continue on the path I was on, I would likely not be able to get off the couch by age 71.  I don’t want that.  People like my stepdad and his mother encourage me to be better, do more.

My husband and I are going to Austin/San Antonio this summer for a few days (sans kiddos!) and I’ve been trying to think up some physical activities for us while we’re there.  Swimming, biking, maybe some kayaking? I don’t want to wear us out, but I don’t want to just drink and lounge around the whole time, either. I want to explore and enjoy things I’ve been skipping out on in the past.  I’m tempted to go on this cool-sounding bike tour, but I haven’t ridden a bike in years!  They say you never ride for stretches of more than 20 minutes at a time.  Wonder if we should take a chance!

One month down! (Weight/Measurement Check In!)

Not too bad for the first month!  Here we go…

• Weight: 236.6lb (7.4lb loss)
• Waist: 49.5″ (0.5″ loss)
• Hips: 50″ (0.5″ loss)
• Chest: 44.0″ (1.5″ loss!!)
• Right thigh: 23.5″ (0.25″ loss)

Roughly 1.7lbs/week average. I’ll take it! Pretty excited about that 1.5″ lost from my chest, too – I’m built like a block.  True, I want to lose inches from my waist most of all, but that requires those icky ab exercises.  I’m getting there!  I’m slowly starting to incorporate them into my routine.

I’ve noticed that I’m getting more and more steps in daily while trying less.  I’m also a lot more productive these days.  Coincidence? I think not!

As it gets easier to meet my step goals (walking at work, Just Dance/Wii Fit Plus at night, etc), I’ve been adding in more strength and balance exercises.  One of these days I’ll find the Jillian Michaels DVD that came with my 8lb weights and I’ll have to give that a go. (I bought the set over a year ago just because they were the most reasonably priced 8lb weights I could find – I never even checked out the DVD!)

Yes, please! I’d love to look half that good!